The whole purpose of Independence Day is to celebrate that long, long ago we decided that being Brits wasn’t our thing any more.

Whether I agree with that decision or not is mostly irrelevant since we can’t change it now - but the point is that the country said, “to heck with rules and regulations made by someone across the pond, we want to do it our own way.”

The problem with that is some people have gone too far.

* Image and link from UWeekly

Let’s talk about wearing sweat pants in public. I don’t mean going to the gym to workout, I mean going to the grocery store, or the mall, or the bookstore, or to work in a corporate office while wearing sweat pants.

Yes you may have independence but that doesn’t mean you can’t have class any more. There’s a reason the Brits had the aristocracy and the bourgeoisie (which by the way - even though they were middle class they had class). It was to make sure that people didn’t go out in public without any self-esteem.

And while we’re talking about being in public without any class - farting, burping, and spitting in public? Seriously? Is our entire country being taken over by frat boys? I was at work this week and heard a group of guys walking down the hall when suddenly one of them practically created a sonic boom he farted so loudly. They then proceeded to laugh about it - all the way down the hall. Why is it funny to fart in the hallway at work? I guess he thinks that he’s independent and doesn’t have to abide by any social structures or definitions of what’s appropriate at work.

And while we’re on the subject of passing gas - it’s not even appropriate for you to do it in the bathroom in some situations, and here’s what I’m talking about.

If you and I are standing next to each other at the urinals, and you fart…that’s completely inappropriate and you don’t have any class. At least wait until I have finished and gone to the sink so I have some chance of getting out of the bathroom before your gas reaches my nose. I mean, seriously I do not need to breath in air that has been sitting in your lower intestines for the last two hours. It’s no different than you walking into my office, standing next to me, and tooting right into my face.

And finally…let’s talk about that other classless act of “coughing up a loogie” in front of other people. I do not want to be sipping my $5 mocha frappucino while sitting next to someone who is coughing up a huge wad of mucus then spitting it onto the ground. If you have to get rid of that much mucus I want to see a handkerchief or tissue completely covering your face while you do it and then you throw that thing into a trash can. I do not want to see you spit it on the ground, and I sure as heck don’t want to see you spit it on the stairwell at work (yep - it actually happened). No class whatsoever.

And so I send out this message of hope, to everyone who chooses to celebrate the American Independence Day on July 4 - please people, have some self-respect. Show that you have a modicum of class still left in you from those glory days of the colonies. Put on a decent pair of jeans, take a beano before going out for the day, and stop smoking.

You’ll make the world a better place - almost as good as if the queen herself was still in charge.