So the first day of week 3 and we’re in Alabama looking for the next American Idol. I don’t know about you, but I have a hard time taking people seriously who have that much of a southern drawl. And I feel as though I can say that, because I’m from the south, and used to talk like that, and couldn’t take myself seriously either.

It starts out with a bang doesn’t it…the first contestant just can’t shut up! Paula even has to get out of her chair to try to get the girl to leave the room. “Erica, you have to shut up!”

What is it about those contestants who hear a “no”, and so they just pick another song and start singing? Do they seriously think that their voice is going to make some miraculous turnaround just by choosing another song? If so, they should have picked the right song in the first place. You’re not going to Hollywood honey.

Side note: Why is Paula unable to stay seated? She’s either standing up, running around, or on her knees. I don’t understand. Did she have a Dr. Pepper or something?

Oh I really think that no discussion of Alabama would be complete without the 50 year old twin of Big Bird, Margaret Fowler. I nearly split my sides when they started the Sesame Street theme song. Word to her and her fringe.

Jamie Lee with the paralized father who shot himself in the neck after shooting his wife when he caught her cheating on him more than once. I’m sorry, this is not Jerry Springer, and I don’t appreciate that kind of laundry being aired on national television in a singing competition that is watched by good old american families with proper family values. (sorry, I’m laughing hysterically at the moment…) I understand that you’ve had a hard life taking care of that fool who shot himself but botched it, but seriously…you have a voice that will get you there on your own merit, leave the daddy bit out of it.

Next we move to the end of day 1, and Chris(tina Aguilera) – you had to watch the show to get the reference, sorry, can’t e’splain it to ya. He’s got HUGE hair, an absolutely winning personality, and he doesn’t sing all that bad! I’m glad he got through, mostly because the show needs that type of wit. He’s like the Jay of Project Runway. I like him, and I hope he gets into the top 12.

Day two begins with a missing Paula, and an appearance by Cousin IT and her mom. I have never seen hair that long in my entire life, and I’ve seen some long hair. I really hoped that she had a voice to back it up, but it was too Disney…she could get a job as Rapunzel perhaps.

I don’t remember what happened in the middle of day two, even though I just watched the show, because the only thing sticking in my mind right now is Brenda Patterson. That girl…she apparently has an “exkrordinary voice” when she doesn’t sing on the hardwood floor…I don’t know what that was all about…she was just as bad on the carpet as she was on the floor panels, but maybe that’s just me.

And really, one should never EVER sing a Madonna song for an AI audition. Not that Madonna doesn’t have some great tunes, especially the balads, but they are not appropriate for AI, and don’t tend to wow the judges…ever.

Alabama didn’t do it for me.

I know we’ve had 3 finalists from there, but it’s time to move out of the south and have a winner from the western half of the country. Here’s hoping that tomorrow, LA will have something better for us, or atleast something equally entertaining to make fun of.

(Week 3 Day 2 – Los Angeles)

(The American Idol category on this blog)

[ratings]