Yes, we have completed week two of American Idol auditions…and was it at all surprising that so few contestants made it through?

I mean…we’ve already taken a look at the different types of people who audition for the show, and I think it’s safe to say, week 2 did not disappoint.

Really I think I can sum it all up with just one name…Ian Benardo. If you aren’t familiar, you obviously haven’t been keeping up with AI or So You Think You Can Dance. He’s the flamboyant New Yorker, who always wears some type of fur (it was chinchilla this time), has perma-puffy lips, and thinks that British people have no business being in America and need to just go have tea or something.

Honestly, he should be beaten for butchering Gloria, one of the best rock songs of ever. That was just heart wrenching. But on the flip side, you have to have some wit to come up with the National Geographic - Dodo bird comment, off the top of your head after being kicked out of the auditioning room. So I must give props to Ian. You just know he’s going to get picked up by the morning talk shows at some point…if they can keep him from swearing on national TV. (Note: you have to watch this interview - Ian is awesome)

Aside from Ian, we had plenty of other folks who fall into one of the 9 categories we learned about before. We had the best friends who love to shop, and surprisingly had pretty good voices (the non-trained one was better). I guess shopping and tossing around a beach ball really does pay off.

We also had some ambiguous genders. I seem to recall that last year Simon got in a bit of trouble over some comments about a contestants gender. Either he toned it down this year, or they cut it from the final tape. I’m going with the latter.

Again we had the gratuitous sob story, about a girl who wasn’t being supported by her parents. I don’t know whether it’s because I have been sick all week or not, but I cried right along with her. It was absolutely ridiculous that she came out with a golden ticket and there was no one to congratulate her. You go girl, and I hope you make it to the finals so your dad can put up and shut up. That phone call was useless. The father still doesn’t support her, but I do. Sing your heart out girl.

Now let’s talk about that cute dark haired Clifton Biddle from Delaware who plays the harmonica. David and I both thought he was cute, until we realized that he was, indeed, insane. I believe the words that came out of my mouth were “Oh my god what was that?” Screaming a ZZ Top song does not qualify as “singing”, and neither does playing the harmonica. Try America’s Got Talent…if it ever comes on again.

At this point, I paused as they went through more butchered auditions, and thought to myself, “where do some of these people come from?” … and really, where is Darwin when you need him?

We wrapped up the week with Julie (real name: Isadora Furman), who attempted to fake an orgasm during her audition. At least, that’s what I thought she was doing. Poor, poor Julie who doesn’t like the name Julie and goes by her middle name, even though Ryan insisted on continuing to call her Julie. What a shame.

But I want to step back a moment, to the girl who was absolutely tone deaf, near the end of day 2 in New York. She made a point of letting them know that she could not sing, was tone deaf, but that she could absolutely be the next AI. Although she was annoying and should never have been let through to get air time…it did get me thinking about this whole “idolization” thing that we American’s seem to be very good at.

Who really is an idol? Is it someone who can sing, play basketball, play hockey, play chess? Is it someone who scores the most touchdowns, or someone who runs the fastest because they are pumped on steroids?

Should the show be renamed Singing Idol instead of American Idol? What if tone deaf girl really should be our role model? What if we should all make friends with two other people and a security guard at the audition, put on a cowboy hat, and proceed to bitch at the judges for having such audacity to hold a singing competition and expect that people can sing? Maybe we should all revolt and make those basketball, football, and baseball players out there get a REAL job earning salaries like we are, and then see how much of an idol they can be?
You all can do that if you want. I’m going to be plopped down on my sofa next Tuesday, ready and waiting for the next round of singers dressed up like astronauts, to be my next American Idol.

(Week 3 - Alabama / Los Angeles)

(The American Idol category on this blog)

[ratings]

This sarcastic entry was posted on Thursday, January 25th, 2007 at 8:25 pm and is filed under American Idol, Music, Television. You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.