Homo sarcasmus, the wickedly sarcastic blog of Heath L. Buckmaster
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Is this your gum? | Homo sarcasmus - the official blog of Heath L. Buckmaster

I am in urgent need of your help. Someone is missing their gum! Is it yours?

shoegum.jpg

I am sure that they are worried sick about their gum - I can only imagine what it must feel like to be on-site, enjoying your chew, “accidentally” spitting your gum out onto the floor without knowing it, and then hours later realize that it’s missing.

I can’t even imagine the pain and mental torment I would go through knowing that my gum is out there… somewhere… desperately trying to find me again yet not knowing where to look. Would I report the gum missing? Would there be an internal investigation to determine when I last tasted the gum? Would anyone really be able to help me?

I might even put up signs and offer a reward. The gum means that much to me. Search parties aren’t out of the question…let’s canvas the building from the lobby to the cafe - it’s got to be here somewhere!

Won’t you help me find the owner of this gum? I know they must be missing it…

2 Responses to “Is this your gum?”

  1. #1 Cult of Jef says:

    That’s hilarious … and would make a damn good children’s book!

  2. #2 heath says:

    You are so mean. Now I’m going to have to write a new series!!!!!