Several years ago, 2005 to be specific, I wrote about my personality disorders.

Those have not changed, but I fear that this week I may have actually tipped the scale into actual insanity. I will of course deny this if asked about it (and I will claim that someone logged into my computer and posted this on my behalf).

Here’s what happened…

* Image from instructables.com

At the office we have automated paper towel dispensers in the bathrooms. I’m sure you’ve seen these things – they are now everywhere so that people don’t have to touch a machine after they have just washed their hands (except for those nasty people who don’t wash their hands after touching the filthy door handle and the sink).

The machines basically perform the same function, although there are any number of vendors out there making a variety of machines. You wave your hand in front of the sensor and it spits out a piece of paper towel of varying length. I bring this first point up because this is one reason I hate these machines.

Some models only give you a toilet paper sized piece to dry your hands. Other models are configured to give you three feet of paper at once. Other models start with a small amount but allow you to grab the paper and pull it until you have as much as you want. There’s no consistency when it comes to how much you get, but there is consistency in how they communicate with you.

That’s right – paper towel dispensers talk when they give you the paper. That mechanical sound when the paper comes out – that’s their language…and if you’re insane enough, you can talk back to them. That’s what I found myself doing the other day at work.

I went to the restroom, used it, washed my hands, then approached the machine to get my paper towel. I waved my hand and it made the noise and provided the paper. I took the paper and just stared at the machine for a moment. There was no one else in the bathroom, so I wasn’t concerned about someone looking at me and thinking me weird (as usual), so I just stared at the machine and made the noise.

That’s right…I mocked the machine by making a mechanical paper-towel spitting noise with my mouth. I stood there for about 15 seconds just making the noise over and over again before I finished drying my hands, walked out of the bathroom, and started laughing. (If you would like to hear the noise I made, click here to listen)

I immediately told one of my coworkers, who was tempted to call the nurse I’m sure, but instead cracked up laughing. I don’t blame her…there’s no better way to explain what I did other than insanity.

And I think that’s the perfect way to end this work week. Have a wonderful holiday weekend to my US readers, and a wonderful normal weekend to everyone else in the world .