I hate the summer. I make no apologies for this and I will shout it from the highest snow-capped mountain until my throat is raw. I hate the summer.

I could list out all the thing that make me mad about the months of May through August…but let me focus on just a few…

1. It’s hot. The temperature rises into the uncomfortable zone of 80+. Without sounding like a hypocrite, I will admit that I do not mind weather in the 90’s while I’m flying down the highway with the windows down. Standing around in it, however, is a different story. Please bring on the shade.

2. In some places it’s humid. Thankfully not in Sacramento, but growing up in NC introduced me to 85 degrees and 1000% humidity. You couldn’t even walk outside without becoming soaked in sweat within moments. I am grateful that in our disgusting heat of California, the air is blissfully dry most of the time.

3. The sweat. That’s right – I become a big sweaty pile of Heath when the summertime hits. I do not enjoy going out at 7am to drive to work and it’s already 80 degrees. I do not enjoy leaving the office and seeing the temperature readout in my car tell me it’s 123 in the parking lot. And finally, I do not enjoy the sensation of my flesh crisping when I grasp the steering wheel to turn the car. My hands get clammy, beads of perspiration drip down the sides of my face and into my eyes, my anti-perspirate can’t cope, and I feel like I need to do a Marilyn Monroe to cool down my lower regions.

Summer burns. Summer dehydrates. Summer causes cancer.

And now I must go lay in front of the fan – even the heat coming off my computer is starting to make me sweat as my a/c desperately tries to keep up with the rising temperatures outside. I think this calls for a mojito bath.