I got up at about 3:20am this morning…is it redundant to say “this morning” after just having said “3:20am”? I supposed it could have been 3:20am yesterday morning, or 3:20am the other day, but I do want you to know that it was THIS morning that I was up at 3:20am. Anyway.

I was up. It was 3:20am. It was dark outside yet starting to get lighter since this is California and we’re doing that whole rotating toward the sun type of thing. The cats were hungry, oh so hungry. Always. Always hungry.

I went to the kitchen to provide them with nourishment, despite all three of them being overweight (and why is it that they have to eat at night and not on my schedule?), then turned around to make my way back to bed to try to get a few more hours of sleep. And that’s when it happened.

I stepped on the shard from The Dark Crystal. Nearly the entire length slid into the base of my right foot, with nary a scosh sticking out to mock me as I yelled silently and hobbled my way to the bathroom, trailing blood behind me. I ran my fingers across my foot and I could feel the tip of the shard poking out. Had I put weight on my foot it would have gone all the way inside my body and I fear that a hospital trip would have been in order.

Thankfully when I wiped away the blood, the tip of the shard was still there, so I grabbed for a pair of cosmetic tweezers (the kind you use to pull out rogue hairs, etc.) and after several painful attempts, the shard was out. I continued to bleed for several moments before the coagulation took hold. But like any good parent I ignored my own pain and raced back to the kitchen to get the hand vacuum so I could suck up any stray shards that might still be lurking on the floor – for fear that if one of the kids stepped on it, we would be in a world of trouble trying to get it out of their pads.

Surprisingly I did not wake up the rest of the household with my antics this morning…but I did limp back to bed in pain and still bleeding. Thankfully I found a misc sock on the floor and covered my foot to minimize the impact to the sheets. It was an exciting morning.

In other news, the President delivered his address today. Surprisingly it was 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. The GOP denounced him for misleading the American Public.