Some time ago David and I went to a wedding reception at a private home (vs. a public home) in a private neighbourhood (which wasn’t gated btw, just “private”). How did we know that it was a private neighbourhood? Why, by the sign of course…
As we drove down a long street toward a clustering of houses, we saw a sign similar to this one. I didn’t bother to stop and take a picture of the actual sign because I was laughing at the absurd nature of having such a sign in the first place.
Pretentious, yes. Useful, no. Ignorable, yes.
I mean seriously, the only people who would go into the neighbourhood are people who live there, people who are visiting, or people who have been invited. Is a yellow sign really going to stop anyone from going into that neighbourhood if they really have their heart set on it? Um, no.
In fact, I would venture to say that seeing that sign made me WANT to go into the neighbourhood just to see if they had something special going on that they didn’t want anyone to know about. The answer to that was NO, but I wouldn’t have known that had I not gone into the neighbourhood in the first place.
But as things do, it got me thinking…
What would all the “appropriate” exceptions be to the rule of “Private Road”? Who would they say IS permitted to use the road besides the residents? Let’s think about this for a moment…
- Utility providers: power, gas, water, sewer, trash, street cleaning, recycling, telephone, internet
- Maintenance workers: plumbing, heating and air conditioning, roofers, painters, landscapers, gardeners, masons, housekeepers, nanny services
- Delivery services: furniture, flowers and gifts, UPS, FedEx, USPS, DHL, food service, your dealer
- Friend’s and Family members
When I think about the type of people who come to my house, the list is pretty comprehensive and I don’t live on a “Private Road”. So who exactly is this sign putting on notice? The only thing I could come up with was:
- Traveling salesman: vacuum cleaners, knives, etc. (do these even exist anymore?)
- Religious groups: LDS missionaries, Moonies, local churchgoers checking in on why you haven’t been in months, etc.
So then why couldn’t the sign just say “No Solicitors beyond this point”? That seems to be more descriptive of the people you actually want to stay away.
If you truly wanted things to be private then go live in a cabin in the middle of nowhere with no utilities. And don’t ever order anything online. And have your own garden. And no sending any mail either. And actually just don’t even tell us you’re going, just go. I’m not sure anyone will miss you because you’ve been living on that private road and we haven’t seen you anyway.
Meh.
