Have you ever had one of those really sucky days? You know what I’m talking about…a day that starts out bad and keeps getting worse.

You wake up to discover that the cat has thrown up all over the floor, eight times. The pilot light went out on the hot water heater in the middle of the night and you have to take an ice cold shower. All of your shirts are in the washer and smell like mildew because you forgot that you put them in there two days ago. Your car won’t start until you pump the gas for five minutes. You’re late getting onto the highway and so traffic is a disaster and you wind up being 43 minutes late to work.

On those days, don’t you wish there was a God who could just make it all right for you? Wouldn’t it be nice if God could clean up the vomit, instantly heat the water, wash your shirts daily, and always keep your car full of gas? But what darn luck…you don’t believe in God!

Well have we got the solution for you! The scientists at Jesus Had A Sister Productions have been hard at work, and are ready to help you get that much desired faith lift you’ve been saving up for.

That’s right. Surrender yourself to that higher power with a pepper-minty faith-enhancing breath spray! You’ve seen this product on TV, and now it’s time to try it for yourself!

DIRECTIONS FOR USE: To experience an instant sense of well-being and spiritual connection, apply spray to back of tongue. This spray is a potentially dangerous weapon. Do not administer to individuals against their will. Forced religious conversions will be prosecuted.

Testimonial:

“I was walking down the street in Sacramento, and I was just like, thinking…what if God was one of us? What if he was like just a total stranger on the bus or something? And then like, I realized that I could figure it out instantly! I used your spray and it was like Oh My God…God! I was totally blessed and stuff!” - Khrystie Faygin

Please enjoy this product brought to you by Jesus Had A Sister Productions.

Isn’t it time you had a faith lift?

(**Believe in God is a trademark of Jesus Had A Sister Productions**)
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This sarcastic entry was posted on Friday, January 12th, 2007 at 7:01 pm and is filed under Religion, Shopping. You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.