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Jesus Bandages - with Free Toy! | Homo sarcasmus - the official blog of Heath L. Buckmaster
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Sep 24 2007

Jesus Bandages - with Free Toy!

Posted by: heath in Religion

Are you troubled by stigmata? Is it ruining your social life?

Don’t you long for the day when you can enjoy a 2-hour movie without running to the bathroom every 15 minutes to soak up the blood in your shoes?

Your wait is over! Introducing…Jesus Adhesive Bandages, made from the same material as the Shroud of Turin!

Slap some Jesus bandages on your palms and those nails will dissolve instantly!

(Note the free toy inside - it’s like getting a box of Cracker Jacks with the little peel off tattoo!)

Jesus Bandages

WARNING: May cause feelings of enlightenment and wonder. Do not use before driving or operating heavy machinery. Not for use by pregnant or lactating women, or by those currently under a priest’s care for demonic possession.

Maybe Jesus could have used some of these when he was out partying…

Oh, and in case you don’t believe in god, you can instantly with this breath spray.

This sarcastic entry was posted on Monday, September 24th, 2007 at 12:13 pm and is filed under Religion. You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

6 Responses to “Jesus Bandages - with Free Toy!”

  1. #1 tallfreak says:
    September 24th, 2007 at 2:18 pm

    That looks like something I would find on loljesus.com If you go there just be warned it’s HIGHLY OFFENSIVE. :) But kinda funny hehe. (Don’t tell anyone I said that)

  2. #2 Heath says:
    September 24th, 2007 at 2:34 pm

    Yeah - the first one I found - the Believe in God breath spray, was by a company called Jesus Had a Sister Productions - they have all sorts of wild and crazy things there, not just religious paraphernalia.

  3. #3 Tommy Marx says:
    September 24th, 2007 at 9:48 pm

    I’m confused. Was Jesus sterile or was it just his adhesive bandages?

  4. #4 heath says:
    September 27th, 2007 at 10:46 am

    I don’t think he was sterile, since there’s a long blood line from him and Mary Magdalene.

    You can read all about it in the non-fiction documentary book, The DaVinci Code.

    :-)

  5. #5 Tommy Marx says:
    September 27th, 2007 at 11:29 pm

    Wow, and all this time I thought there was a long - um - something between him and Peter.

    I shall check out this obscure book you speak of and prepare myself to be enlightened.

    :-)

  6. #6 heath says:
    September 28th, 2007 at 8:01 pm

    I hear his Peter was very long.