In today’s society of sophistication and refinement, reading tea leaves is so old testament.

Today, we read wine residue.

Wine residue is created when you allow the last drop of red wine to settle and dry up in the bottom of a wine glass. I know there will be some of you who are in shock that a drop of precious wine would go unconsumed, but if you want to foretell the future, you have to make sacrifices.

Today’s reading comes from a lovely Cotes du Rhone red table wine.

The first thing you might notice is how much this looks like a bloodshot eye.

Depending upon how much wine you’ve had, this could indicate a reflection of your current intoxication status, but try not to get distracted when reading the residue.

Clear your mind of all extraneous thoughts. The first thing you will probably notice is the Grim. It’s really not unusual for the Grim to appear in the reading, since everyone dies, and it’s a death omen. It’s nothing to be concerned about unless of course you are an immortal. If that’s the case, stay away from large swords.

Next you will probably notice that the image tends to point to the upper right, or North East.

Obviously, this is because of how you might have turned the glass when picking it up, therefore, ignore this.

The important item to note is that the residue is thicker on one side than another. This indicates something from your past, namely that you set the glass down on an uneven surface and it was tilted as it dried.

Now that we’ve had a reading of the past, let’s move on to the present. What you should notice is that the glass is presently empty and you need more wine. This is a very powerful message, and should not be ignored. The present is more important than the past. Learn from it and act upon it.

Finally, we look to the future. For this we look at the entire residue stain. It needs to be washed before putting more wine into the glass. Your future holds a trip to the kitchen to clean the stain. This is a good omen, and tells you that there is more wine in your future. What more could we hope for from the future?

And thus we have the three phases of wine residue reading. I encourage each of you to read your own wine residue to see what you discover. It is an enlightening and spiritually moving experience.

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As I start to look at re-branding this blog, I wanted to take a moment to call your attention to what I feel are 16 of the most interesting posts that have flowed from my brain in the last couple of years. You may not find all of them hilarious or funny, as many of my posts tend to be, but you might find them interesting.

Insightful, inspiring, informative. The 3 I’s of blogging. Well, interesting as well, so really the 4 I’s of blogging. My four eyes. You get the point.

So without further or farther adieu or adoo, here I present them for your review:

1. Back before my wordpress migration, I did a 5 post series on the 2006 Out and Equal Workplace Equality Conference. You can start at the beginning when Rachelle and I arrived in Chicago, enjoy our adventures at a disgusting restaurant called Stetson’s, and revel in the magnificence of us meeting Mr. Sulu of the Enterprise.
2. Continuing on the multi-post theme, who could forget the 5 days of Victoria, BC. Not only did I finally get to meet Bobby Apperson, but we once again experience the awe inspiring Butchart Gardens.
3. Next on the list is an informational page about the Randompedia, the Random Encyclopedia. Are you looking for things you’d never find in wikipedia? Look no further/farther.
4. A pivotal point in my life centered around an event in November 2006. NaNoWriMo, the writing competition to complete a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. Well let me tell ya, I didn’t just complete it, I blew it out of the water in 12 days then started on the next one! Here’s the post that started it all. (And the post about my first book published on amazon.com)
5. Ready for something spooky and scary? How about the story behind one of my favourite holidays? Hellaween! (I also shared the true history of Valentine’s Day too, but it’s not one of my favourite holidays because it’s not really a holiday. However, Easter is.)
6. The list wouldn’t be complete without at least one GLBT informational component, and what better than a warning that you should not do business with the gays. Ok, maybe two components - especially a warning about hate crimes.
7. The Hellaween season continued with a quick movie review. Some of you might recall the 8 Films to Die For series, and specifically, the movie Unrest. Yeah - I tried to forget it too. Here’s the review.
8. One of the longest series posts that I’ve done here is the Childhood Journal. After receiving a stack of old notebooks from my parents, I realized there was a goldmine of interesting writings from yours truly back when I was a wee little boy. Here’s the one that kicked it off, which includes a link to the entire series.
9. Ok, so GLBT is a common theme here, and so I should probably fill you all in on what it means to be a Friend of Dorothy.
10. Want to know how to make the world a better place? Try Star Trek.
11. I don’t just care about making the world a better place, I also want to make your lives and relationships better. Who knew that you could learn so much about a relationship from your toothbrush?
12. One of the most popular posts I’ve ever done was about throwing a wine party. It’s really quite easy, and I’ve provided simple instructions on making it a memorable event.
13. Some of you were probably wondering when I’d get to this one, and number 13 is probably appropriate for it. That’s right, it’s my American Idol series.
14. Time for a meme. I’ve done quite a few of these, so I’ll lump some together into #14. What’s on your iPod, iTunes Meme, and What’s On Your Desk.
15. Sometimes it’s important to share your dreams. For some reason I felt compelled to share one of my most bizarre ones with you.
16. Finally, I provided more education, in a post on 8 Quick Tips for Aspiring Amateur Photographers. We don’t just provide entertainment here, we also educate.

So there you have it. 16 posts (actually 22 but in a list of 16) that resonated with me and with my readers (based on a very scientific process that I developed just for this post). Have a great time browsing around, and remember that these are just a sample of what we have to offer here at Digital Heath.

Also remember - safety first!

While our friends Bob and Stephen were in town this past week, we decided to take a trip to the gold country to do some wine tasting and a tour of the Sutter Creek Gold Mine. Here are a few pictures from the day…

First, it’s always a good idea to have some wine, especially if you have somehow injured your left foot and can barely walk on it, like I did.

We stopped by the Sutter Creek Wine Tasting house, and Travis Brown, the Pouring Wench, delighted us with wines from various spots around the county.

Of course we had to buy a few (ok, a lot) bottles, and joined the wine club as well…I mean seriously, how can you go to a winery and not buy a heaping helping of wine? I’ve even tried the patch, but it doesn’t work.

After a glass or two (or three or four) of wine, we decided to check out the town, and get some lunch at the Sutter Creek Palace Restaurant and Saloon (since 1884 even).

Yummy food, and three of us had the seafood sandwich - apparently the most popular item on the menu. Who knew that seafood was the lunch of choice for Sutter Creek visitors? Not me.

But enough about Sutter Creek the town, what you really wanted to see what how sassy I look in a hard hat right?

Pretty scary huh?

Here are more pictures from the trip to Sutter Creek.

If a customer asks for a side of blue cheese dressing, do not give them a bottle of mustard instead.

If a customer orders a sandwich with a side of fruit, put a fork on the tray. A customer should never have to stab their honeydew with a knife in order to eat it.

And finally…no onions means NO ONIONS.

If you are delivering room service to a customer, and they have ordered a Diet Pepsi to go along with their meal, do not bring them a regular Pepsi just because you are out of Diet Pepsi. They are not the same beverage. Diet Coke could perhaps be substituted, but not a non-diet soda.

Second, do not then tell the customer that they can call one of the bell boys to see if they will go into the employee break room and get a Diet Pepsi from the drink machine for you. If there are Diet Pepsi’s in the break room, go get one before bringing the food to your customer, and they will never know that you have a beverage stocking issue.

Oh…and put some freaking vending machines next to the ice maker like every other hotel on the planet does.

Thanks.

In the spirit of multiculturalism and diversity, I have chosen to dedicate this special blog to the Christian holiday, Easter*. What is Easter? Where did it come from? Is it a religious holiday or a celebration of all things small, furry, and blue/white with big floppy ears?

As a child I remember trying to stay up as late as I could the day before Easter (Easter Eve), so I could catch a glimpse of the Easter Bunny (or wasn’t it supposed to be a resurrected savior? - never fear, they’ve now combined the two). Finally when my eyelids would no longer stay open, usually about 8pm, I fell asleep. After arising the next day (also usually 8pm), I would race to my bedroom door to see what Jesus had left for me. Who knew that Jesus could turn a loaf of bread into a basket of multi-coloured eggs.

I think that’s why I’m gay. No, not because the lord our god (L.O.G.) performed a miracle with the chicken and the egg, but because the rainbow flag was bestowed on me at such an early age. The eggs were red and yellow and green and brown and scarlet and black and ocre and peach, ruby and olive and violet and fawn, cream and silver and purple and gold, russet and white and pink and orange and BLUE!

Ok, so I didn’t really have THAT many eggs, but those were the colours on Joseph’s Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat and they sure were pretty…anyway…..eggs. The basket was full of them. But not just ordinary eggs. These eggs were plastic! I wasn’t sure what you did to an egg to make it plastic, but I’m sure it involved a lot of boiling. Needless to say, I wasn’t very careful with them because I knew there was no yolk to spill. What I didn’t realize though, is that instead of yolk, Jesus had put money and candy inside these eggs! The money was obviously meant for me to put in the offering plate at church, but the candy was all mine!
Jelly beans of every colour imagineable, jujube’s, candy corn (I thought these were only for Hellaween!), marshmallow duckies with sugar on top, raindrops on roses and noses on kittens, bright yellow packages tied up with string, these are a few of my fav…whoops! got a little carried away there.

Eggs. Candy in the eggs. So of course I had to eat all the candy in the 2 hours before church. By the time we got to god’s house, and what a fine pad he had with a loft and track lighting and candles from Pier 1….anyway…I had a tummy ache. Let’s all thank L.O.G. for these gifts which give us gas.

We sang some songs about a tomb, and a rock, well, a boulder really, a monolith in fact, Ayers rock if you will….and then something about rising from the dead, but I didn’t see what that had to do with candy so I didn’t sing along. Finally church was over and it was time for the Easter Brunch. I don’t know why they call it Easter Brunch, because by the time we got there, it was well after noon, which practically makes it Easter Dinner, or maybe Linner, or Dunch.

To further confuse the issue, we had exactly the same food as we’d had for Thanksgiving Brunch/Dinner. Apparently the holidays are related, though I don’t know why anyone would give thanks for dying on the same day every single year and being put in a cold rocky tomb, but who am I to judge another lifestyle?

So Easter Ludinner ended, and my tummy was even more sore because now the jelly beans were combining with the baked beans, and the juxtaposition of the two in my stomach was creating a very unpleasant ride home. Somehow I managed to survive the 2 mile trip from cafeteria to bedroom, where I lay on top of the covers moaning in pain. All the while thanking L.O.G. for the blessings bestowed on me this day.

After a few hours, I finally started feeling better and decided to revisit the Easter basket to see if I had overlooked anything. Anyone who has seen an Easter Basket knows how easily things can get lost in the green plastic grass strips.

I dumped the cash out and stuffed it in my piggy bank, and started digging through the Astroturf. Low and behold, and ye verily, the mother lode appeared!

Apparently Jesus appreciated me going to church to celebrate his death, because what to my wondering eyes should appear (no not a sleigh with eight tiny reindeer, honestly we should just consolidate all these holidays into one big HOLIDAY, Celebrate! If we took a holiday, took some time to celebrate, just one day out of life, HOLIDAY!)

The Cadbury Creme Egg. The epitome of egg. The crème de la crème of egg. The Alpha and the Omega of egg. The great I AM egg.

I held the egg gently in my fingers, careful not to warm it too much so that the chocolate would melt in the wrapper. Slowly, I peeled back the foil which held it so tight, revealing the true meaning of Easter. Liquid sugar, encased in chocolate.

Forget about all this death and dying nonsense. this was my reason for living. My salvation, my rock. This precious gift from above was to be savored, worshiped, praised. And so like a good boy, I praised it like I should.

In one gigantic bite, I split the egg apart, showering my taste buds with the rich and creamy goodness, that could only come from such a precious gift. I let the liquid sugar and chocolate melt across my tongue, washing away any leftover taste of brunchinner.

Softly, and slowly, I swallowed. Always wanting to remember this very special Cadbury Crème Egg, and to never forget the true meaning of the holiday.

Then I promptly ran to the bathroom, and showered the god who sits on the white porcelain throne with all that I had been bestowed.

* Easter, like Christmas, is a blend of paganism and Christianity. The word Easter is derived from Eostre (also known as Ostara), an ancient Anglo-Saxon Goddess. She symbolized the rebirth of the day at dawn and the rebirth of life in the spring. The arrival of spring was celebrated all over the world long before the religious meaning became associated with Easter.

According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), as of March 7, 2007, 425 people in 44 states have now been infected with the strain of Salmonella Tennessee found in Peter Pan and Great Value peanut butter products.However, although 71 people were hospitalized there have been no fatalities.Most persons infected with Salmonella develop diarrhea, fever, and abdominal cramps 12 to 72 hours after infection.The illness usually lasts 4 to 7 days, and most recover without treatment, however, in some people the diarrhea may be so severe that the patient needs to be hospitalized. [Link]

You know…I’ve had diarrhea like that before. It happened after we got back from Mazatlan last year. It wasn’t, thankfully, caused by Peanut Butter (which is one of my personal addictions in life), but was most definitely caused by the 2lbs of fresh shrimp we consumed on the last day of the trip.

The article goes on to say, “Initially, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration said all Peter Pan peanut butter bought since May 2006, and all of Wal-Mart Inc.’s Great Value peanut butter with the batch code 2111 should be discarded.”

Oh the irony of “Great Value”…I wonder if they were rolling back prices to get that off the shelf. While I’m not averse to Wal-Mart, I am averse to the ones in the Sacramento area, due to the…how can I put this delicately enough so that people won’t think I’m a stuck up, pretentious *ss. Nope, there’s no way to do that. Classless. Ok, that was moderately delicate. I mean, I didn’t use the term white-trash did I? No, because I don’t like that term. No one is trash. However, some people are not necessarily well kempt.

I think you know what I’m talking about…it all goes back to wearing sweat pants in public. Sick and wrong for so many reasons. Not only do they put it all out there for everyone to see, but they are also incredibly unflattering to anyone who has more than 1% body fat. But we’re really digressing away from the story here.

Peanut Butter. I’ve NEVER been a fan of the stir-it-yourself variety, you know the ones with an inch of oil at the top of the container that you must stir into the thick mush in order for it to be edible? Yeah, I pour it right off the top into the trash can and deal with the brick-like paste. It doesn’t work for me.

Anyway…please be careful about the Peanut Butter you choose. Cheaper is not always better, and really, why would you EVER buy a grocery item at Wal-Mart? Please go to your local Albertson’s or Raley’s and pick up something healthy, and salmonella-free.