As most of you know I’m terribly fond of words and language. Rachelle knows this, and she gave me a Forgotten English Page-A-Day Calendar way back at the beginning of the year.

I am pleased to share with you the calendar footnote for June 25, because I think it’s topical and an interesting concept that is still practiced today in Neopaganism.

Guid Nychburris,

a fair whose name meant “good neighbors” was held in late June in Dumfries, Scotland. Its medieval origin is steeped in a tradition of helping quarreling citizens reconcile their differences. John Sinclair’s Statistical Account of Scotland (1791) alluded to this gathering as a venue for another friendly custom: “At that fair, it was the custom for the unmarried persons to choose a companion with whom they were to live till that time next year. This was called handfasting. If they were pleased they continued together for life. If not, they separated and were free to make another choice.”

Let’s talk about the upsides:

• Imagine how this could solve many of our societal marriage challenges (and I’m not referring to gay marriage - I’m referring to divorce rates, sham marriages, Las Vegas marriages, 24 hour annulments, Pam Anderson’s marriages, domestic violence, etc.).
• It’s basically like a trial marriage…you have a boyfriend/girlfriend for a year, live together, see how it all works out, and then openly and honestly determine if it’s for the long-term. If not, no hard feelings, just move on to the next hottie in town.
• Many relationships fail after people move in together, because that’s when you’re really put to the test of being able to tolerate another person in your space. This handfasting process would give you the test, and if you fail, you’ve only got to wait until the next festival to try again until you pass.
• Handfasting provides the ability to have same gender coupling, or even multi-partner coupling for those who wish to have more than two people in their family (reference) - very progressive

So what are the downsides?

• You’ve got to wait a year, even if you know after a few days, or a month, that it’s not going to be a long term relationship.
• If you fool around on your chosen handfaster, that’s likely not going to bode well the next time you go to the party :-).
• Constant moving! I don’t know about you, but I hate moving. I don’t even like moving offices at work. Boxing up your life every year and moving to someone else’s house, or having them move into yours would be disastrous if it’s only for a year. Bring on the U-Haul.

I’m sure there are many more upsides and downsides, but I’m interested in what YOU think about this interesting festival…

* Image from Wikipedia

In 1740, Thomas Dyche’s New General English Dictionary defined misdemean as: to behave irregularly; to do things wrong.

Today, I plan to be a role model for that.

First, I used the wrong soap in the shower this morning. I had intended to use my Dragon’s Blood soap because it has both supernatural fragrance and power. Unfortunately, I grabbed the Lever 2000 instead.

Second, I forgot to clean the pond filter. This means that all day long hardly any water will come out of the waterfall to nourish the fish.

Third, when I used antibacterial gel after getting gas this morning, I did not use enough, and my fingers still stank of gasoline.

I’m sure I will come up with more, but so far, my life has fallen apart this morning and I may never recover.

Some time back I did a series of posts on entries from my Childhood Journal. I thought I had found all the nuggets of interestingness in there, but alas, I discovered something new today.

It’s a series of words that I learned way back when I was in middle school…so here I present the first selection in hopes that we bring these back into daily usage.

1. Yammer - to utter or talk in a complaining voice
2. Lapidate - to stone to death
3. Polydactyl - thing with many toes or digits
4. Tattersall - brightly colored fabric with plaid pattern
5. Charnel - repository for dead people
6. Yahoo - uncooth or rowdy person
7. Quisling - betraying person
8. Lycanthrope - werewolf
9. Utricle - 1. a small sack; 2. thin seed vessel like a bladder; 3. the larger of the two membrane sacs in the labyrinth of the inner ear
10. Ort - table scraps
11. Demography - the statistical study of population as to birth, marriages, mortality, health, etc.
12. Metalanguage - any symbolic system used to discuss or analyze any other symbolic system, ex. language

Aren’t those words just special?

Well, ok, not everyone, but the cool people at least :-).

Show your support for our troops with this GLBT themed shirt.


What’s better than a “Yeah, Right” mug for those early mornings of bitter coffee? Go ahead…sit at the kitchen table with your house pants / night gown on and just stare out the front window with your cigarette in one hand and this delicious coffee mug in the other. Share your bitterness with the world.


Everyone does it…

Say it loud and clear that you love yourself, because if you don’t, no one else will.

You have one. Everyone knows it. That’s why they don’t talk to you, because they know you’re going to blog about it as soon as you have connectivity.


Halloween is year-round fun.
Check out the full suite of Hellaween Products.


For all you gossip girls out there - just make sure you stop talking when they get close.


Let’s just admit it…because the rest of the world already knows.

Rachelle gave me a new page-a-day calendar for 2008, Forgotten English. Of course, I adore it.

Then I read Tay’s post on improving your vocabulary, so I thought, hey, let’s share some words with the world, words you might have long forgotten, thus the Forgotten English bit.

crapulous: sick by intemperance connected or associate with drunkenness (original use in 1897)

manners-bit: a portion of a dish left by the guests, that the host may not feel himself reproached for insufficient preparation (original use 1829)

Next time you are a dinner party and getting crapulous from copious amounts of champagne, be sure to leave a manners-bit on the plate to avoid looking greedy.

The other day, Sally was having a party at her house and those stupidheads from the office showed up.

That, according to a very eloquent and large woman at Frys Electronics over the weekend.

I love it when people use the English language to its fullest extent.

As you all know, I’m a huge fan of words. Actually more than just a fan, I’m an addict. I use them constantly…every day…without pause. Sometimes I think that there’s nothing else I can do but use words.When I’m waking up, I use words (“oh my god not another day of this”, “turn off the alarm!”, “is it Friday yet?”). When I take a shower I use words (“did you use up ALL of the shampoo?”, “what happened to my loofa?”). Driving to work…words (“GET OUT OF MY WAY!”, “GET OFF THE PHONE AND DRIVE!”, “@#&%(&@#%(*&@!!!!!”). And when I get to work, just watch out because it’s like word overload!

“Moving forward, we need to recognize that a paradigm shift is needed for the right engagement. In today’s world, we have a need for a robust escalation process that will provide accountability and ownership to the ratifying body, namely the MRC. The culture of tomorrow, will have to migrate toward a sustainable corporate ecosystem, whereby the employee resources will be empowered to define, address, and solve problems as they arise, enabling a versatile risk valuing dynamic.”

But it doesn’t stop there…when I get home from work, there are more words there too (“I thought I asked you to take the trash cans out this morning”, “Why is there cat vomit all over my keyboard?”, “I was nearly run off the road driving home by some idiot on their phone”). It’s like they are there waiting for me. They sit dormant all day long, and then as soon as I open the door to my house, BOOM! Words! But it still doesn’t stop. You’d think that maybe while I’m eating dinner there would be some type of reprieve. You’d be thinking wrong (“I thought I told you that I was trying to watch my carb intake…I can’t eat all this bread.”, “I don’t like feta in my merlot.”, “What is this?”).

And even then it’s not over…I go to bed and pick up my latest novel to read…more words (I am unable to share any words for this portion due to copyright law). And this time it’s not just me using them, it’s the author of the book! I’m not the only one dealing with this apparently.

Then finally it’s time for sleep…you guessed it, more words. Only this time they are in my head…and they just won’t stop. It’s just one word after another, creating all these strange sentences and paragraphs that no one understands, especially me.

“Peas porridge hot. Cold pigs fly. Why oh why oh why oh why. The bell rang again today as I dreamed of Manderlay. Unfortunately, the can on the stove was boiling and I was unable to clean the litter box again. I cried for what seemed like napkins, and still I cried some more. Did I leave the gas on or was that the doorbell? Wait…wait…MELON LIQUOR!”

I wake up the next day and this cycle starts itself all over again.

I’ve been to the doctor numerous times about the problem, unfortunately, he seems to be afflicted as well, because he just can’t shut UP with all the words. Different words, yes, because he has to use all that doctor jargon like “delusional” and “mental instability” and “psychotic episode”. But who understands those doctor words anyway except doctors…so he couldn’t help me really, although he prescribed me some sort of pill that’s supposed to reduce the number of words I have…it’s called “valium” or “Demerol” or something like that, but again, doctor words, so I just ignore them.

I long for the day when the words take a break, even if just for a moment, so that I can have some peace and quiet and listen to the birds chirp, and the crickets crick, and the bees buzz, and the moths moth, and the fish gurgle, and the diet pepsi vanilla fizz, and the phone ring, and the cats meow, and the refrigerator hum, and the fan whirl, and the vacuum cleaner inhale, and the stairs creak, and the champagne cork pop, and the pill bottle whisper sweet nothings in my ear.

* Disclaimer: If you dislike what I write, there is a wonderful set of words I’d like to introduce you to. [censored]. You.