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Entertaining | Homo sarcasmus - the official blog of Heath L. Buckmaster

Archive for the Entertaining Category

For those of you who live many miles away and were unable to attend our 2007 Haunt…I made a little video for you to experience it.

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And if you want to hear the reaction from one of our visitors…listen here.

Take a listen to this voicemail (wav format) left for me by one of our guests, as she was walking through our haunt…

I hope this is the right place… (opens in a new window or your selected media player)

P.S. I’m working on the video walk-through of the haunt…stay tuned.

We are…

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On 31/10/07, prepare yourself for a spooky and scary journey through
The Cabana of Doom

As I start to look at re-branding this blog, I wanted to take a moment to call your attention to what I feel are 16 of the most interesting posts that have flowed from my brain in the last couple of years. You may not find all of them hilarious or funny, as many of my posts tend to be, but you might find them interesting.

Insightful, inspiring, informative. The 3 I’s of blogging. Well, interesting as well, so really the 4 I’s of blogging. My four eyes. You get the point.

So without further or farther adieu or adoo, here I present them for your review:

  1. Back before my wordpress migration, I did a 5 post series on the 2006 Out and Equal Workplace Equality Conference. You can start at the beginning when Rachelle and I arrived in Chicago, enjoy our adventures at a disgusting restaurant called Stetson’s, and revel in the magnificence of us meeting Mr. Sulu of the Enterprise.
  2. Continuing on the multi-post theme, who could forget the 5 days of Victoria, BC. Not only did I finally get to meet Bobby Apperson, but we once again experience the awe inspiring Butchart Gardens.
  3. Next on the list is an informational page about the Randompedia, the Random Encyclopedia. Are you looking for things you’d never find in wikipedia? Look no further/farther.
  4. A pivotal point in my life centered around an event in November 2006. NaNoWriMo, the writing competition to complete a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. Well let me tell ya, I didn’t just complete it, I blew it out of the water in 12 days then started on the next one! Here’s the post that started it all. (And the post about my first book published on amazon.com)
  5. Ready for something spooky and scary? How about the story behind one of my favourite holidays? Hellaween! (I also shared the true history of Valentine’s Day too, but it’s not one of my favourite holidays because it’s not really a holiday. However, Easter is.)
  6. The list wouldn’t be complete without at least one GLBT informational component, and what better than a warning that you should not do business with the gays. Ok, maybe two components - especially a warning about hate crimes.
  7. The Hellaween season continued with a quick movie review. Some of you might recall the 8 Films to Die For series, and specifically, the movie Unrest. Yeah - I tried to forget it too. Here’s the review.
  8. One of the longest series posts that I’ve done here is the Childhood Journal. After receiving a stack of old notebooks from my parents, I realized there was a goldmine of interesting writings from yours truly back when I was a wee little boy. Here’s the one that kicked it off, which includes a link to the entire series.
  9. Ok, so GLBT is a common theme here, and so I should probably fill you all in on what it means to be a Friend of Dorothy.
  10. Want to know how to make the world a better place? Try Star Trek.
  11. I don’t just care about making the world a better place, I also want to make your lives and relationships better. Who knew that you could learn so much about a relationship from your toothbrush?
  12. One of the most popular posts I’ve ever done was about throwing a wine party. It’s really quite easy, and I’ve provided simple instructions on making it a memorable event.
  13. Some of you were probably wondering when I’d get to this one, and number 13 is probably appropriate for it. That’s right, it’s my American Idol series.
  14. Time for a meme. I’ve done quite a few of these, so I’ll lump some together into #14. What’s on your iPod, iTunes Meme, and What’s On Your Desk.
  15. Sometimes it’s important to share your dreams. For some reason I felt compelled to share one of my most bizarre ones with you.
  16. Finally, I provided more education, in a post on 8 Quick Tips for Aspiring Amateur Photographers. We don’t just provide entertainment here, we also educate.

So there you have it. 16 posts (actually 22 but in a list of 16) that resonated with me and with my readers (based on a very scientific process that I developed just for this post). Have a great time browsing around, and remember that these are just a sample of what we have to offer here at Digital Heath.

Also remember - safety first!

This past weekend we had our first ever Wine Party. It was a huge success, so I wanted to tell you all about it, and provide some tips and tricks for throwing your very own Wine Party.

Preparation is essential. The host must be absolutely confident in their ability to speak in front of a group, and must be knowledgeable about the wines they have chosen to present for tasting. Spend several hours in the weeks prior to your event, going through your wine collection, or the collection at your local Cost Plus World Market. Unless you are going to theme your event (wines of Napa, wines of Italy, etc.), select a good assortment of wines from all over the world. This will give your tasters a good variety, and a memorable experience. Especially try to pick wines that are unfamiliar or unique in some way.

The most exciting part of the wine party is the time you spend telling a story about the wine you have selected, so do your research. Always visit the winery website, and create tasting cards about each wine (print these out for your tasters, including an image of the wine label if possible). There will be winemaker notes for most wines…read it, remember it, use it. If possible, try the wines in advance so you can speak from personal experience.

Here are the wines that I selected from our collection:

  • 2005 Cosentino Chardonnay
  • 2005 Ceago Sauvignon Blanc
  • 2002 Red Diamon Shiraz
  • 2003 Terrazas de Los Andes Malbec
  • 2002 Monix Merlot
  • 2004 Penley Estate Cabernet Sauvignon
  • NV Duplin Scuppernong (dessert)
  • NV Settecieli Vin Santo (dessert)
  • NV Montevina Zinfandel Port
  • NV Domaine Chandon California Brut Classic

Wine Party Table Preparation

Now that you have chosen your wines and you have made the tasting cards for each, it’s time to think about flavour notes. These are the different smells and aromas that come out of a nice glass of wine. Create smelling dishes for your guests, with an assortment of herbs, fruits, and spices. First and foremost, have a dish of coffee beans. This is required to cleanse the sinuses between tastings. I chose the following items for use with aroma testing: Lavender, Cloves, Orange Peel, Mint, Peppers, Vanilla Beans, and Cinnamon. Base your choices off the wines you have selected. Your guests will have a lot of fun trying to “taste the aromas”.

Next on the table you must remember rinse water. Have a pitcher, and a “dumping container” available so that guests can rinse their glass when moving between white and red wines, and between normal wines and dessert wines. You do not want to have residual wine in your glass that interferes with your next taste. It’s also very glassy to have a beautiful water pitcher to use for this purpose.

Now it’s time to think about food pairing. Unless you are having a themed wine party (specific pairings with foods or desserts), you want to have a good assortment for people to choose from. If you are having your wine party near dinner time, heavier appetizer items are appropriate. Always have a selection of both savoury and sweet items, as they will compliment different wines differently.

For our party, we selected the following savoury items: Beef chimichangas and taquitos, roasted red pepper hummus dip, carmelized onion and roasted garlic dip, hummus chips, water crackers, chicken and vegetable potstickers with soy sauce, cheese pizza rolls, and cheese and garlic focaccia. You should allow your guests to eat some items before wine tasting, to prevent an inappropriately early alcohol buzz. This is also essential if you are tasting many wines, to prevent drunk and disorderly behaviour (save that for the champagne/sparkling wine).

I should segue for a moment about non-wine beverages. I elected to only provide water to drink (both with lemon and without lemon). It is absolutely essential for your guests to stay hydrated during tasting. This not only allows them a fresh drink to clear the palate, but prevents hangovers if you drink enough water. Have water goblets ready and available for all guests, and keep them filled.

Now back to the food. We’re on to cheese items now. Always have an assortment of cheeses when serving wine, and select those that will pair the best. I have found that creamy cheese like havarti go with any kind of wine, while sharper and stronger cheese go well with ports. We selected: havarti, dubliner, monterey jack, and cheddar. Cut them into squares and recommend to your guests that they reserve the stronger cheeses until you get to the port tasting.

Reading the Tasting NotesNow it’s time for the primary tasting. This begins with the white wines (always serve from a chilled container), then moves to reds. Hold your dessert wines aside for the time being. Let people enjoy the savoury wines first before you bring out dessert items. Tell your guests about the wine, and read the tasting notes for them or tell a personal story about why you selected that particular wine. Serve them approximately 1/3rd pour, using a pouring topper that you can get in a bartending kit. This not only aerates the wine, but it allows a more even pour. Let everyone take their time, smelling the aroma items, and enjoying the wine. Always offer seconds if they want more to try.

Decyphering the Flavor NotesMove through your white wines, then pause to allow guests to rinse glasses before moving to the reds. Start with your lighter reds, then move to the Merlot and Cab items at the end. I like to end with a very hearty wine like a Malbec or a Cabernet Sauvignon. Pause and allow your guests to mingle for a while. Allow them to try more of any of the previous wines. Never rush into dessert wines. This allows the host time to prepare the all important dessert tray.

So what do you choose for dessert wine pairings? Chocolate and cheese, and possibly fresh fruit depending upon the wines. You can use the same cheese options as you did for the primary wines, but make sure there is a nice strong cheese available for the port tasters. By the way, it’s perfectly ok if a guest does not want to try one of the wines. Do not be offended, it’s simply personal preference - some people do not like sweet wines, and some people only like sweet wines.

For chocolates: milk, white, dark, and an additional item with nuts or toffees is appropriate. Base your final chocolate on the wines you are serving. Some dessert wines will have distinct nut flavours, so you want to create a nice pairing. Hershey’s Symphony Milk Chocolate with Almonds and Toffee is a wonderful fourth chocolate to provide. Cut the chocolates into blocks or squares so they are easy to eat.

Move through the dessert wines in much the same way as you did with the primary wines. Make sure guests rinse their glasses after every tasting! Dessert wines are vastly different, and you do not want to mix them.

Allow your guests to continue enjoying the wines (both primary and dessert) for some time. Some people will go back to a particular white or red wine they enjoyed, even after dessert wines, so offer them additional food or dessert items as appropriate, while you prepare the champagne toast which will top off the evening.

ChampagneAlways open the champagne or sparkling wine in front of the guests. Not only is it exciting to hear the cork pop (do NOT show off by popping a cork indoors - you will hit someone or break something - always use a towel to cover the cork while slowly twisting and removing it), and to watch the bubbly pour into the champagne flutes. Be careful to prevent champagne from spilling over the rim of the glass, creating a sticky stem.

Toast with your guests, and enjoy the rest of the evening socializing and enjoying the wines. Optionally, guests may enjoy a shot of Chambord or other fruit based liquor in their champagne. Another option is the Buckmaster Flash (tm), which is a 50/50 mixture of port and champagne.

Never clean up immediately after your party if it ends at night. Enjoy your evening of bubbly relaxation, and clean up in the morning. With the number of glasses and plates used for a party such as this, you’ll want to have an automatic dishwasher available, or a really great friend.

Best wishes on creating and hosting your very own Wine Party!!

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A story told in photographs.

Preparing the dessert - mouse filled chocolate cupcakes.

David prepares a special sauce.

Mushroom soup goes into the blender, while green beans and bacon sit idle.

A raspberry vinegarette for the salad option.

The diners bask in the after-dinner warm food feelings, and Heath realizes that there are absolutely no pictures of the actual food items.

Thankfully everyone is too busy playing with their Hawaiian paraphernalia to notice that there are no pictures of the food…(don’t tell David).

Besides, I think you’ll be able to tell from this video that they didn’t really care about the pictures anyway….

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-318583540074066297

So every year we have a white elephant party. It’s a twist on the old standard, for many reasons. One, we don’t give crap gifts. We usually have a blend of funny as well as nice. Like, an American Idol DVD, and a gift certificate to Amazon, or an old Monopoly game, and a bottle or two of wine and some chocolate.

Party attendees minglingBasically everyone brings a gift of $25 or less, wrapped, and hopefully you come away with something fun and enjoyable that is the envy of the other people who weren’t able to steal it from you.

However…something odd has happened the last two years in a row, and it has to be more than coincidence. For the last two years, David and I have wound up with the same gift that we brought. And we’re not talking about this being a small group of people with high odds, we’re talking about 20+ people, all moving gifts around somewhat randomly.

Plus, our gifts aren’t exactly crap that no one would want. They usually consist of a pretty nice gift basket with wine, gift certificates, food items, or other sundries. This year we packed up, what I call, the naughty picnic basket. It consistent of wine glasses, wine, cheeses, meats, condoms, lube, a book on penile health, sanitary wipes, chocolate, and a bunch of other stuff thrown in for good measure. It was a pretty nice gift, all in a cute basket, and valued at more than $25. (I have a hard time following my own rules, especially since it was my party)

After the first round of gift openings, our friends Cody & Emily wound up with the basket. Cody & EmilyThey were very pleased with the items and were hoping that no one would steal it. But somehow, through a strange twist of fate, our bottle of port and box of fudge went flying across the room to them, and we wound up back with the basket we brought. I was amazed. Of the 15+ gifts, how on earth did we wind up with the same thing that I’d spent over an hour putting together? And how come we were the only couple that got stuck like this?

Although, I could analyze for several minutes……I won’t. We decided to give the gift basket to my friends Keith & SerenaKeith and Serena, because we didn’t have a need to keep it for ourselves.

It was just very odd. Two years in a row to wind up with your own gift. Makes me think that next year, I’m going to come up with something so outlandish that everyone will want it, and there will be no way it will come back to us. Maybe a blow up doll stuffed with dollar bills or something ;-)