After the inundation of promos for Jumper during American Idol this week, you’d think that I’d been brainwashed into rushing out to see it.

Yeah, no.

First of all, having Ryan Seacrest join Hayden Christensen on top of the Sphinx was just stupid. And how dare he defile the Sphinx in that way. Show some respect HC. And Ryan isn’t even an actor but he could out-act HC in a 15 second promo.

Why oh why has this person come into the sphere of Hollywood? Darn you George Lucas for subjecting us this way. I won’t even watch Star Wars again because of it. And shame on the director of The Bourne Identity and Mr. & Mrs. Smith (loved that movie) for such a disastrous casting choice.

So Jumper…you know, I REALLY want to see this movie, but I won’t. I mean, the subject matter looks cool - I’m all about sci-fi and action/adventure…it reminds me a bit of Quantum Leap (in fact when I saw the very first preview for it, I thought it WAS a Quantum Leap movie)…and the special effects look interesting.

But unfortunately, they’ve chosen a lead actor that I simply can not watch. I won’t do it. I won’t subject myself to that torture.

The marketing blitz alone tells me that the movie is going to be a flop. Not only was it promo’d during every break during AI, but it’s all over myspace, and that’s a sure fire downfall right there.

Over promotion = horrendously awful movie.

If it was that good and had enough good actors in it, you wouldn’t have to promo it that much to get people to go. Alas…someone else will have to tell me if the movie is any good or not, but I’m thinking that there are more people like me than not like me on this one.

I have finally seen the most disturbing movie since Seven. David has been trying to get me to watch this movie for a while now…he watched it many months ago shortly after we got the DVD, but for some reason I didn’t want to watch it at the time.

Part of me wishes I never had seen it, but part of me is very impressed by it. I suppose it’s similar to how I felt about Seven, which I have seen once and will never watch again. I found it to be so disturbing that I refuse to even have the DVD in the house. Excellent plot twists and suspense, but the depravity of the story just made me emotionally ill.

That’s almost exactly how I felt watching Saw. At first, the story was moving along very slowly, and more and more of the plot and backstory is revealed as the movie plays along. But once again, I felt that sick pre-diarhea feeling in my stomach at the mental torment I was experiencing.

I don’t ever want to see the movie again, though part of me wants to see the next ones in the series (I’ve read online synopsis of them and while incredibly disturbing, they seem to be very well written/executed - so to speak).

Cinematography was incredibly well done. The camera work was quite fluid, and I like some of the sped-up work they did during the flashbacks. The viewer actually felt what the characters were feeling. It was almost painful.

The story/writing, also excellent. If you didn’t know, the guy who played “Adam” was one of the writers. Very impressive detail in the story and amazingly well executed plot twists. I’m sort of interested to see the other movies just to see how well they are done (plus Donnie Wahlberg is in the next one).

As for gore, there is quite a bit, from a guy who has blown his brains out (supposedly), and a detective who takes a shotgun blast to the top of his head, to a girl who has to disembowel an alive but immobile man to get to a key that will save her life. (How did the key get there in the first place??)

I tell you, I’ve had dreams about it ever since we saw the movie, and it’s painful. I was up for hours last night seeing that freaking clown puppet in my mind.

The only thing that got me through it was that we watched Scary Movie 4 right afterward, which spoofs Saw (among other movies). So as my mind was sending me into nightmares wondering if the Jigsaw killer was going to capture me and put me into one of his bizarre traps, I was desperately clinging to the ridiculousness of Scary Movie 4. It barely got me through it.

That’s all. I didn’t intend to write a review really, just my mental torment from having seen this movie.

As I start to look at re-branding this blog, I wanted to take a moment to call your attention to what I feel are 16 of the most interesting posts that have flowed from my brain in the last couple of years. You may not find all of them hilarious or funny, as many of my posts tend to be, but you might find them interesting.

Insightful, inspiring, informative. The 3 I’s of blogging. Well, interesting as well, so really the 4 I’s of blogging. My four eyes. You get the point.

So without further or farther adieu or adoo, here I present them for your review:

1. Back before my wordpress migration, I did a 5 post series on the 2006 Out and Equal Workplace Equality Conference. You can start at the beginning when Rachelle and I arrived in Chicago, enjoy our adventures at a disgusting restaurant called Stetson’s, and revel in the magnificence of us meeting Mr. Sulu of the Enterprise.
2. Continuing on the multi-post theme, who could forget the 5 days of Victoria, BC. Not only did I finally get to meet Bobby Apperson, but we once again experience the awe inspiring Butchart Gardens.
3. Next on the list is an informational page about the Randompedia, the Random Encyclopedia. Are you looking for things you’d never find in wikipedia? Look no further/farther.
4. A pivotal point in my life centered around an event in November 2006. NaNoWriMo, the writing competition to complete a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. Well let me tell ya, I didn’t just complete it, I blew it out of the water in 12 days then started on the next one! Here’s the post that started it all. (And the post about my first book published on amazon.com)
5. Ready for something spooky and scary? How about the story behind one of my favourite holidays? Hellaween! (I also shared the true history of Valentine’s Day too, but it’s not one of my favourite holidays because it’s not really a holiday. However, Easter is.)
6. The list wouldn’t be complete without at least one GLBT informational component, and what better than a warning that you should not do business with the gays. Ok, maybe two components - especially a warning about hate crimes.
7. The Hellaween season continued with a quick movie review. Some of you might recall the 8 Films to Die For series, and specifically, the movie Unrest. Yeah - I tried to forget it too. Here’s the review.
8. One of the longest series posts that I’ve done here is the Childhood Journal. After receiving a stack of old notebooks from my parents, I realized there was a goldmine of interesting writings from yours truly back when I was a wee little boy. Here’s the one that kicked it off, which includes a link to the entire series.
9. Ok, so GLBT is a common theme here, and so I should probably fill you all in on what it means to be a Friend of Dorothy.
10. Want to know how to make the world a better place? Try Star Trek.
11. I don’t just care about making the world a better place, I also want to make your lives and relationships better. Who knew that you could learn so much about a relationship from your toothbrush?
12. One of the most popular posts I’ve ever done was about throwing a wine party. It’s really quite easy, and I’ve provided simple instructions on making it a memorable event.
13. Some of you were probably wondering when I’d get to this one, and number 13 is probably appropriate for it. That’s right, it’s my American Idol series.
14. Time for a meme. I’ve done quite a few of these, so I’ll lump some together into #14. What’s on your iPod, iTunes Meme, and What’s On Your Desk.
15. Sometimes it’s important to share your dreams. For some reason I felt compelled to share one of my most bizarre ones with you.
16. Finally, I provided more education, in a post on 8 Quick Tips for Aspiring Amateur Photographers. We don’t just provide entertainment here, we also educate.

So there you have it. 16 posts (actually 22 but in a list of 16) that resonated with me and with my readers (based on a very scientific process that I developed just for this post). Have a great time browsing around, and remember that these are just a sample of what we have to offer here at Digital Heath.

Also remember - safety first!

Find out which Transformer you are at LiquidGeneration!

In a new series for this blog, I present, my crush of the month.

July 2007: Helena Bonham Carter

Not only is she currently portraying Bellatrix Lestrange in the new Harry Potter Film, but she has also graced the screen in movies such as Big Fish, and Fight Club. I will admit, that I first though she was the daughter of Jimmy Carter, former US President. How silly of me.

I originally fell in crush with her in Fight Club. The desperateness of her character was quite appealing, then when I saw her in Big Fish in that Pisa-esque crooked house, I knew there was something wonderful there.

She is currently in a relationship with Tim Burton, and has starred in many of his recent movies. Full details are available on her wikipedia article.

Originally, I was happy to start a new post on something not having to do with American Idol. Not because I have lost my love for it, but because I’m sure that there are some of you out there who don’t watch it, don’t care about it, and don’t want my blog to be centered around it. (you’d be wrong of course, but I’ll humour you )

So, I was going to post a little diddy about Steel Magnolias, which David & I watched again for the umpty-millionth time last night, while socializing with Scott & Roque in their newly redesigned loft.

But then “news” happened. Ann Coulter called a straight person (John Edwards) a faggot, and Britney Spears became the antichrist. But I do want to deal with this in proper order.

Steel Magnolias. Quintessential viewing for anyone really, gay, straight, or whatever.

You’ve got every emotion here, laughter, joy, sadness, drama, absolute hilarity, satire, there’s really just about anything you want, without being cluttered up with special effects or useless action that doesn’t help the plot. Plus, where else can you come away with so many memorable quotes that should be used in everyday language?

Clairee: Janice Van Meter got hit with a baseball. It was fabulous.
Truvy: Was she hurt?
Clairee: I doubt it. She got hit in the head.

or

Clairee: You know, you would be a much more contented, pleasant person if you would find ways to occupy your time.
Ouiser: I’m pleasant. Damn it! I saw Drum Eatenton at the Piggly Wiggly this morning, and I smiled at the son of a bitch ‘fore I could help myself.

or my personal favourite

Annelle: …but today is a very special day, and my work tends to be too poofy when I’m nervous!

It’s just a very special movie, in so many ways. And with such a power-cast of actresses who were all overlooked for the Oscar that year, you’re sure to have a fun evening. Be sure to make cuppa-cuppa-cuppa, and perhaps a fun armadillo cake while you’re at it. (Or a snake, if you’ve got the counter space)

Now onto the next topic. Faggot. I posted about this one a little while back…is faggot a power word or a weapon word? You can draw your own conclusions on that question, but more specifically here, let’s address Ann Coulter. I have to say, I know absolutely nothing about her, other that what I have read today. But to quote the Gay Rights Watch, she is “disgusting…absolutely vile.” I’d have to say I agree.

This isn’t even her first foray into pushing the limits of free speech. She’s also been known to use the term rag-heads, and imply that we need to invade every Muslim country and forcibly convert them to Christianity (like that will solve anything).

In case you missed this “person’s” quote, here it is in all it’s ridiculous glory:

“I was going to have a few comments on the other Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards, but it turns out you have to go into rehab if you use the word ‘faggot,’ so I — so kind of an impasse, can’t really talk about Edwards.”

One positive outcome to all of this is that more people dislike/distrust/hate/loathe the republican party now :-). And kudos to John in turning it around to his benefit, by challenging supporters to raise money for his campaign, called “Coulter Cash”. But enough of that - she’s getting too much press as it is.

Finally we come to Britney Spears the antichrist. Apparently she’s been running around with “666″ written on her foreheard, claiming that she’s the antichrist. Nice try Britney, but that’s been done before (and before). Besides, “666″ might be the wrong number in the first place.

But aside from all that antichrist nonsense, what got me about this article was that she wants to REUNITE WITH KEVIN! Um…HUH??

And not only does she want to get back together, she thinks that having another baby will seal their relationship! Maybe I was wrong…maybe she really has become the antichrist. The dear girl has gone completely insane I do believe.

I think Edith Massey would have said it best, “Purrrr Britney; purrrr purrrr Britney.”

Where is Gene Roddenberry when you need him?

Yes, I know that’s a rhetorical question, but in all seriousness…we are in desperate need of some good Trek! The world is going to hell in a hand basket.

War, famine, intolerance, prejudice, poverty, strife, gluttony, all those things that would be solved if the Vulcan’s would just hurry up and get here…I wonder how many Cochrane families out there named their son Zefram…
I was watching ST:DS9 and ST:Voyager the other day, since both of them are in syndication on SpikeTV (the testosterone version of Lifetime), and I realized that Trek has been with us for a LONG time (except for a dearth right now).

Starting way back in the late 60’s, we were introduced to the world of Captain Kirk, and his crazy adventures. I just recently purchased the entire ST:TOS series on DVD, because I had never seen a single episode of the show, and I felt it was my duty to support the franchise. David and I have started watching the show, and it’s actually quite good for the time period, if you can get beyond the acting, costumes, set design, and “alien” worlds. They introduced several concepts which subsequent shows built off of, and I like that.

Let me segue for a brief moment into some of Gene’s other great work, that you may or may not be familiar with. Aside from the world of Star Trek, we’ve also had the opportunity to experience Earth Final Conflict (the first 4 seasons were excellent, while the last season was abysmal), and Andromeda. Now I have to say, that I absolutely LOVED these shows (both are out of production now). The Taelon’s were a wonderful creation (Leni Parker and Anita La Selva were splendid), and anyone who doesn’t get a little hot looking at Steve Bacic and Gordon Michael Woolvett doesn’t deserve to be on this planet.

If you’re not familiar with these shows, I encourage you to beg, borrow, or steal them from a friend who has them. (and I’d like to add a little plug in here for Majel Barrett, who is by far one of the most entertaining empaths in the universe, and who has appeared in nearly every single Roddenberry creation)
But back to Trek, because that’s the most well known creation of Gene’s. The original series introduced us to new possibilities: diversity of an incredible nature - every race, gender, species, working together for a common goal. Next Generation showed us that the universe is even bigger and more exciting, and that the enemies of earth are even nastier than we originally thought. DS9 showed us that living in space could be a reality, but also a great risk. Voyager taught us that when you’re stranded on the other side of the universe, the chain of command becomes a family structure instead (and that CG can be used to create some really cool creatures).

Enterprise didn’t teach me anything, because I’ve never watched a single episode. Now don’t get me wrong - Scott Bakula…WOO WOO! But it’s not a good enough reason to watch a show that should never have existed. What is the deal with this desire for prequels? You make a few movies/shows, then realize…hey we can’t go forward in time any more because people are bored. Let’s go backwards and see what happened before this all started! How many prequels can you come up with off the top of your head? Batman Begins? Star Wars Episodes 1-3? The Hobbit? Enterprise? Why can’t we just do things in order?? But that’s not what this is about.

We need a new Trek right away, and we need a new Trek with Q.

Q threatened at the end of ST:TNG that he would be watching us; he would check in on us from time to time. Aside from visiting ST:Voyager to torment Janeway a couple of times, where has he been? He hasn’t appeared in any of the feature films, and so we’ve never had the opportunity to explore the ‘unknown possibilities of existence‘…

Where is our next Star Trek movie that brings together the best of Old, Next Gen, DS9, Voyager, and Enterprise Q? Where is our exploration of the species and our existence in the universe? What the world needs now is Trek! A new, exciting, groundbreaking Trek, that takes us into the next evolution of our minds.

Are you with me?

from startrek.com, on the new movie: According to Variety, the proposed story will focus on the early days of James T. Kirk and Spock, including their first meeting at Starfleet Academy and their first mission in space. UPDATE 04.27.06: Abrams has since indicated this may not be the case; see this article for his recent comments.

Thank goodness. Perhaps he feels the same way I do about prequels… [ratings]