Yes, it’s another one of those reveal personal things about yourself meme’s. And no I’m not immune to doing it :-).

This one was easy though, so here goes. On your desk at work, select 5 items that would not typically be found if you went to a coworkers desk. They can be things you’ve brought in from home, or unique items that you’ve created while at work. What are they, and what purpose do they serve.

1. despair.com print - “Individuality - Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.” This is probably my favourite demotivator from despair.com. If you haven’t been to the site, you’re missing out on one of the most creative companies on the planet.
2. Two bottle caps from SoBe LEAN beverages that both say the same thing - “is everyone taking crazy pills?” I blogged about this one a while ago, so it was funny that I got an identical bottle cap today on my diet green tea beverage.
3. A cranberry orange candle from Illuminations - travel size. No, I don’t burn a candle at work, but it has such a magnificent aroma, I sometimes take the lid off and just experience the magic. And sometimes, if the trash hasn’t been removed from the previous day, it’s necessary.
4. Four boxes of Crystal Light On-The-Go, in various flavours. I have orange, fruit punch, raspberry lemonade, and peach tea. That’s so I can refill my water bottle from the fountain, add a packet of powder, and have a delicious non-carbonated beverage while staying hydrated.
5. An “emergency response team” orange vest. It’s a mesh thing with yellow and grey stripes that is meant to be worn in the event we have an evacuation. People see that and know I’m in charge. Actually, I’m no longer on the ERT team, but I still have the vest, just in case I want to go save someone.

Ok folks - get to it.

This disgusts me.

The right to blog and the right to remain private or face consequences because of a blog or MySpace page is coming into sharper focus in Amarillo after Tejas Broadcasting officials fired a KBZD Energy 99.7 disc jockey Monday morning for sexual content on a MySpace page created for the station and on another for himself the company said was “inappropriate and inconsistent” with the company’s policies.

[...]

Vicki Wilmarth, an Amarillo attorney who specializes in employment law, said this was the first instance that an employer-employee conflict concerning a MySpace page had erupted so publicly in Amarillo.

For Wilmarth, the debate centers on two issues.

The first, she said, was Pascullo can’t claim that anything he posts on the Internet is private.

“(Employers) have a right to look on the Internet just like anyone else,” Wilmarth said.

The second issue is that homosexuality isn’t a protected class for discrimination.

“They are not breaking any law by discriminating against somebody on the basis of their homosexuality,” Wilmarth said. [Link]

First off - she’s right. Employers do have that right, and I’ve personally used it when doing hiring evaluations. I google people’s name, and see what comes up. More often than not, they have already given me their website address on a resume, but I always like to check to see what’s out there, especially if I’m looking for skills related to web design.

Second off - she’s right again. In most states it is still completely legal to discriminate based on sexual orientation and/or gender identity. There are only NINE states that protect GLBT employees. That’s right, NINE. You can be a superior employee, and be fired just because you are gay, whether it has anything to do with your job or not. Comforting isn’t it? For those of you who live in the multitude of states that permit that…what are you doing there??

Third off - apparently saying you are gay is now “sexual content”. But I suppose for all those folks on myspace.com who have “straight” listed as sexual orientation, that has no sexual connotation at all, so we can just ignore them. But if it says anything else, bi, gay, questioning, unsure, well then we better just fire them because that’s naughty and perverted and condoning sex! (Can’t we take the sexual out of homo, and hetero, and bi?)

Fourth off - he wasn’t flashing about his naughty bits on myspace, and he wasn’t soliciting people for sex. Did they actually READ the profile? The news/media seems to be able to report the “concerning” text of the profile, and there’s nothing there that’s all that troublesome, but then I forget…we certainly wouldn’t want the good god fearing citizens of the planet to have impure thoughts, now would we?

I’ll let you in on a little secret…I’m having an impure thought about this stuff right now and it has nothing to do with the word “gay“.

You get one of these in the mail:

This review is for the Cingular 8125 Pocket PC - Form Factor.

Background:

I should start by saying that I just purchased the Cingular 8125 two days ago. I finally found my “Vault” card, and through that site found out about some discounts with Cingular. My previous phone, which I currently have, is the Motorola RAZR. I am a huge fan of the Motorola line, and have had the RAZR for about 3 months, prior to that, the L7 (also known as the Motorola SLVR). Prior to that, the Motorola L6 was my phone for a short period of time; before that, I had many other options such as TE and Sony (including the P800 Smartphone).

I tend to move through phones VERY quickly, averaging a new device every 6 months at least. What can I say, I’m a geek.

Ease of Transporting Device:

Moving form-factors from the RAZR to the 8125 is quite a difference. Primarily, I can not put the 8125 in my shirt pocket, or really in my pants pocket. The device is only slightly longer than the RAZR, same width as the RAZR, but the depth is almost 3x. This makes it pretty much impossible to slip inside a shirt pocket without it hanging out, and unless you have very loose pants pockets, it won’t work there either.

The device comes with a leather case with belt clip. I have mixed feelings about this, mostly because of the geek factor of being seen with a huge device hanging from the side of your belt. Even more strange, it hangs horizontally. This will just take some getting used to, especially when going out on the town. It’s not a phone that will fit comfortably in dress pants like the RAZR would. If SIM cards were easier to swap back and forth between phones (without having to take the phone apart), more people would probably have multiple mobile phones depending on the situation of use.

Keyboard

This device has a wonderful QWERTY keyboard, by sliding the front of the device to the right. The screen automatically flips to landscape mode, and you’ve got nice, large keys available to you. There are shift functions, which do take some getting used to, because the keys are all multipurpose depending upon whether you want lowercase, uppercase, numbers or symbols. You can use the keyboard for all sorts of applications, such as the pocket versions of word an excel, email, or any other text based application you might have on the device.

Touchscreen

That’s right, this device has a touchscreen. You can use the included stylus (which fits nicely in the lower right of the device - and I should note that it’s an extended stylus, you can push it together for a small one, or expand it for a longer one) or you can use a finger or a soft bit of plastic on the screen. I do not recommend using anything but the rubber tipped stylus or a finger, as to not damage the screen. Note, when using this device as a phone, you WILL get facial oils on the screen that should be cleaned regularly.

Standard Buttons

As for the buttons, most of them are all preconfigured with commonly used items: Messaging, Internet Explorer (how did they get away with this - browser bundling now at the hardware level), phone on, phone off, camera (this is a very neat button because it allows you to hold the phone horizontally like a camera), the main “joystick” button, left and right hot buttons, volume control, and voice control. Each of the buttons seems to be in an intuitive location on the phone, and they are recessed into the case so they don’t get in the way.

Device Base

On the base of the device, you’ll find the speaker jack, and mini-USB (a must have for any phone that I will own). I insist on a phone with mini-USB, which can be used for charging, as well as data transfer. To the right of the port, you’ll find the stylus slot.

Other components of the form factor that you may find interesting

Stereo speakers on the left and right sides, infrared port on the right side below the speaker, SD card slot on the top of the device next to the power/standby button, 1.3 Megapixel camera including flash on the underside of the device.

This concludes the general comments about form factor.

Upcoming reviews:

• 1.3 megapixel camera and flash
• Bluetooth, Infrared, USB, and Wi-Fi connectivity
• Multimedia, including sound and movies
• Operating System generals - Windows Mobile 5.0
• Software Add-ons

I did a post on this a while ago, but just last night, just before we saw Kathy Griffin at the Crest in Sacramento, David said something about “low hanging fruit“, and I realized that I needed to revisit the world of Corporate Jargon.

So here ya go…

• Offshore resources - does the company now hire people out in the middle of the ocean to do development or programming? Do we have a new development site in the South Pacific? Do we have business analysts on oil rigs?
• Low Hanging Fruit - this conjures up all sorts of images, some naughty. But if we assume we’re corporate, apparently we all work on an orchard now, and it’s easier to pick fruit without using a ladder. But in case you work in a non agricultural company, shut up…this one is just stupid. Ever heard of “lower priority items” or “stuff that is easier to do than the hard stuff so let’s do it first so it looks like we accomplished a lot”?
• In that space - “They are helping us out in that space.” - Are they working for NASA in the Space space? Trading spaces home edition?
• Cadence - Instead of a project following a timeline, it now follows a cadence. I haven’t used this word since I was in high school marching band, and I didn’t even use it then.
• Bio Break - “I need to take a bio break” - because it’s not PC to say P
• Going forward - ugh! this is almost like “here’s what we do today, but tomorrow we will…“ - I admit, I catch myself using the Today vs. Tomorrow in presentations…but if you ever catch me saying “Going Forward“, please ask me to leave
• Moving forward - same as above
• Right? - “These are the strategic objectives for 2007, right?” - Ending all of your sentences with right? is a problem, because you’re not asking for validation after every sentence you say. You don’t really want people to respond, right?
• We’re going to go ahead and … - well then DO IT already!
• Key - key programs or key initiatives - um, do you mean they are IMPORTANT? What about un-key? What is the opposite of key, and when did key become an adjective? (and for that matter when did google become a verb?)
• Are vs. Our - “Are meeting is at 10“. NO. Our meeting is at 10. You got the “R“ right, but wrong vowels people…
• Ping - “I’ll ping you.” ; What’s next? “Hey, I’ll traceroute to.your.desk in the morning.” (submitted)

from MSNBC: Desk rage isn’t something companies like to publicize, so there are few statistics on it. But a 2001 survey of 1,305 workers, commissioned by Integra Realty Resources in New York City, found that 42 percent of respondents said there was yelling and other verbal abuse in their office, 23 percent said they have been driven to tears because of workplace stress and 10 percent said employees have actually resorted to physical violence. [Link]

This really isn’t that surprising. Corporate culture today has gone downhill, not just recently, but I think it started when the dot com bubbles started to burst in a very messy way, splattering networks and computers all over the place (and possibly some 401k’s got in the way too).

With jobs moving overseas in many markets, layoffs abounding, stock portfolios evaporating, it’s a wonder there aren’t more violence outbreaks at work. Maybe “going postal” should change to “going corporate”.

Back in the day, problems were solved by locking yourselves into a conference room and screaming at each other until the world was right again. But then came along constructive confrontation. You had to solve problems in the politically correct way! And suddenly, problems took weeks to solve. Did we really improve things by preventing people from getting their passion and anger out now and again and splattering it across an infocus machine or a plantronics phone system?

Just be aware that the next time you walk into someone’s office and they are banging their head on the desk in frustration…it might be best to tell them about the server being down, another time.

Shadow a Heath for a day

Online auction open for bidding

Manager Shadowing Program Committee
October 25, 2006 (WW43)

The Manager Integration Shadowing Campaign’s (MISC) online auction is now open for bidding. Employees will be able to place bids through noon on Friday, October 27. There are some exciting and unique items up for bid this year, including the opportunity to shadow a Heath for a day.

One lucky bidder will get to shadow Heath, Manager, for one day. As a Manager, Heath has served on a wide variety of teams, departments, boards and committees, including PLAN committees, change committees, reorganization committees, efficiency committees, and resourcing committees, and he has also been a member of several MRCs and Tiger Teams.

Heath is also involved in the community, having participated in over 14 thousand volunteer events, attended numerous productions of the Sacramento Theatre Company, and he once rescued a dying worm during a rainstorm.

As part of your day with Heath, you would possibly participate in a live meeting with his team, a luncheon in the stunning corporate Cafe, attend a management face-to-face meeting or attend a management training class, taught by Heath, with top corporate officials in attendance. This is a golden opportunity for someone to shadow one of the company’s top leaders and see them in action.

Place your bids now by leaving a comment on this article. Together we can make this year’s event another success for our community!

*Note, this is a parody of an internal posting, so don’t be disturbed if you have no idea why I posted this.