Homo sarcasmus - a new species of blog from Heath L. Buckmaster

04 Mar, 2010

How to Have Good Luck

Posted by: heath In: Awareness

I have come up with a list of tips, tricks, best known methods, and suggestions for how you can make sure you’re going to have a good day filled with good luck. Enjoy, and good luck.

  • Wake up in the middle of the night and look at the clock when it’s at 12:12, and again at 2:22.
  • Stub your toe on the bench at the foot of the bed, but in doing so avoid stepping into fresh cat vomit.
  • When reaching for the toilet paper, if the roll suddenly doubles on itself giving you a 4-Ply experience – that’s major good luck.
  • Throw open the front curtains wearing only your underwear, and if no one drives by and sees you for 30 seconds, you’re good to go for the day.
  • Another major good luck event is when your windshield wipers go to the beat of the music you’re playing. Rain is required for this one to cause good luck.
  • Getting the last parking space in the primary lot and not having to park in satellite parking. (this causes good luck for only half the day BTW)
  • Everywhere you go in the cafe is fully stocked – the coffee is hot, the half & half container is full, the splenda bucket is plentiful, the perfect banana is right on top of the free fruit stack. (note: luck only lasts for the morning)
  • Everyone smiles and says hi to you as you walk to your desk. (You have to be cautious on this one as it could indicate that you have visible hair gel or you forgot to button your fly – this would indicate bad luck vs. good luck)
  • If your 8am and 9am meetings get cancelled within 5 minutes of their start time you are going to have a great day, not just a good day.
  • The cashier in the cafe actually smiles at you and thanks you for buying lunch so that they can get a salary. This qualifies as a jackpot and could possibly give you good luck for the entire week. Really watch for this one.
  • If your 2pm and 4pm meetings get cancelled at least 1 hour before they start you are going to have a superior day, not just a great day. Why? Because you can go home early.
  • Going home early.
  • The windshield wiper thing again. This is actually a bonus – if it’s still raining in the afternoon and you play the same song again you might as well sit back and enjoy the rest of the month.
  • As soon as you walk in the door to your home, you smell cookies. (This only works if you don’t live alone – if you live alone and smell cookies, get out quickly – bad luck)
  • Check the clock again and it’s 4:20pm. Always good luck. Always.
  • The DVR actually recorded what you set it to record and you’re actually able to watch it. This is a bonus good luck charm and can really go either way.
  • As the night progresses you find yourself catching the clock at 8:88, 9:99, 10:10, and 11:11. Some of this might be due to catching the clock at 4:20, but it means tomorrow is going to be awesome.

Hopefully these will work for you, and you’ll be able to forecast whether your day will rock, or roll. Best wishes to you all, and good luck!

01 Mar, 2010

Welcome to March

Posted by: heath In: Awareness

Did you wake up this morning and say “rabbit rabbit” ?? If you did, then you’ve got a month of good luck coming your way. If you didn’t…you might as well just pack it up and try again in April.

I am looking forward to a good March. I was up for most of the night with insomnia and migraine residual – even though I took imitrex, ibuprofin, and melatonin. Rowan was up with me – he was restless as well and just wandered around the living room not sure what to do. Eventually he went back to the bedroom and curled up on the heating blanket and Lasher came out to join me on the sofa.

I don’t know what time I finally got to sleep, but it didn’t last long. Thankfully I did have time to offer my “rabbit rabbit” when I saw the clock strike 12:00am March 1. I don’t really follow too many superstitions, but that one is fun if I’m awake. The other one I pretty regularly do is the knock on wood.

I’ve adapted it, however, to a triple knock and a sweep. It’s my little OCD :-) .

What does March bring? A few things that I can think of so far – Paula Poundstone is coming to Sacramento and that’s going to be a blast; a second play-through of Mass Effect 2 (now that I’ve beaten it once gotta go for #2); Siobhan’s birthday – she would have been nine years old; on-air work for KVIE; hopefully some more book writing and editing.

I’ve been reading a new book at the recommendation of Rachelle, called The 4-Hour Workweek. It’s a very interesting book about taking back control of the time you spend in your life, doing something impossible/unexpected every day, and living like a millionaire without being a millionaire.

I have only started it, but I am trying to do something unexpected or unique every day. For example: I entered one of my books into the London Book Fair; I bid on an online auction at Capital Public Radio to win a lunch with Nick Brunner (and won); I told a local restaurant chef/owner that I was interested in investing in his new restaurant. I have to say – it felt really good.

In all three situations I hemmed and hawed about the decision. Should I do this? Is it going to achieve anything? Is this going to give me visibility/publicity/a new friend/another great volunteering opportunity/etc.? And in each case I almost decided just to do nothing – then I thought, why not? Let’s go for it and see what happens? And what’s the worst than can happen?

I haven’t read enough of the book to give it a full review – Rachelle has and swears by it now. But it has already put me in a more positive focus for making March a better month than February.

And if not, I did say “rabbit rabbit” as a backup.

26 Feb, 2010

Owl City – Fireflies

Posted by: heath In: Music

If you haven’t heard of Owl City then you haven’t been living.

Here’s a little snip from Wikipedia, and my favourite track for Q1 2010 that I would like you to enjoy (and buy ;-) )

Owl City is an American synthpop musical project by Adam Young. Young started out making music in his parents’ basement in Owatonna, Minnesota, later developing a following through his MySpace profile before being signed to Universal Republic.

Young’s influences are disco and European electronic music. After two independent albums, Owl City gained mainstream popularity from the 2009 major label debut album Ocean Eyes, which spawned the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 #1 hit single and UK #1 hit single “Fireflies”.

You can get the entire album here.

That was the comment I got earlier today from “viagra india”.

I was pretty happy to have a comment in the first place, but even more excited that FINALLY someone notices my writing skills. Being an independent author isn’t all it’s cut out to be people.

It’s hard work. It’s tough. The rejection from myself is almost unbearable at times. There are days when I wonder, “can I really go on another day…another moment…another second even in this bath of torture that I have drawn for myself?”

Now, if the bath had eucalyptus salts in it, or even Dead Sea salts, I could probably make it another day. But if it’s just tap water then we’re going to have a problem. But back to viagra india…

Thank you, thank you Viagra India (very cool name by the way) for recognizing the talent that goes unnoticed here. I work very hard to provide for you every day – to give you the words, the sentences, and yes at times the paragraphs that bring joy, pleasure, and yes at times wonderment to your life. Think of me as a really good movie that sends you on an emotional roller-coaster through pain, sadness, joy, exuberance, and other emotions as well.

That’s the service I provide. That’s the reason for my being. It’s all for you Viagra India, and so to you I dedicate this blog today.

Praise be the Viagra India.



  • Beth: Don't forget all the craziness with the governor having the affair with the woman in South America... South Carolina does have a very few nice bits,
  • heath: Oh Tommy...your comments mirror those of the Dawg as well. They thought Lee's voice was too big for the song. I don't think it was too big, but I can
  • Tommy Marx: Gotta disagree with you on this one sweetie. Yes, Crystal and Siobhan were definitely the best of the women, and while I didn't like the song he sang,

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